


Bookmark

by sichi



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: All Human AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 09:14:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17784653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sichi/pseuds/sichi
Summary: Gavin and Niles were childhood friends, growing up side by side. When Gavin leaves suddenly, leaving Niles confused and hurt, Niles has to find his own way in life.Twenty years later, Detective Stern meets Officer Reed. The two of them realize that their love never left, it just had to have room to blossom.All Human AU. Valentine's Day gift fic for @OhNoMyBreadsticks.Rated E for smut at the end.





	1. /1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a one shot, but I decided to split it to allow for the break between non smut and smut. So, if you're looking for smut only, check out the next chapter :) 
> 
> Hankcon (even though they requested Reed900 ;) Valentine's Exchange for @OhNoMyBreadsticks! Hope you enjoy! <3
> 
> Shoutout to BriWeiCreative on twitter for being my beta! You're amazing!

Niles Stern was born a few minutes after his twin brother, Connor, on a rather uneventful afternoon. Their mother had died less than twenty-four hours after the birth of her children. Their father was in prison, but they did not come to know that for many years.

 

All they knew is that growing up in foster homes was not pleasant.  

 

Just two months after the twins were born, Gavin Reed was born on a cold October morning. His mom brought him home to an empty house, except for his mother’s cat. 

 

Gavin also knew what is was like to grow up only loving one person. 

 

Niles had Connor, Gavin had his mother. Which was all the two of them needed.

 

But of course, even kids can have friends. Connor was the outgoing one; Niles would sit by himself, usually with a book in his hands. His mind was constantly wandering to other places, other universes. Never grounded, always yearning for more. 

 

Gavin was always moving. He always had to be playing some game, fighting with some kid, or getting into arguments with his teachers. The opposite, grounded, present, almost too present. 

 

Which is how most of their peers had no idea why they became best friends.

 

The fall of 2012 was another start to another year of school, and Niles and Connor were at a new school yet again. The twins were in fifth grade, and met Gavin on the first day of school. Niles, dressed in slacks and a polo, despite there being no dress code. Gavin, in jean shorts and a t-shirt with an obnoxious graphic logo on the front. 

 

The sun was out and the grass was a bright green. A perfect day to participate in outdoor activities, which is exactly what Gavin planned on doing. 

 

Maybe he’d kick around a soccer ball by himself for a bit. The first day of school always sucked the most. Gavin seemed to be friends with everyone because of his outgoing personality, but sometimes, it was nice to do his own thing. 

 

Kicking the ball almost directly at another student wasn’t his intention. But if he had to go back to that point in time, he would do it again and again.

 

Because it’s how he met Niles Stern.

 

The ball, thankfully, did not hit the kid in the face, but it was pretty damn close. 

 

The boy just looked up from his book nonchalantly, as if a soccer ball didn’t almost just decapitate him.

 

“Oh, sorry!” Gavin shouted, running up to the boy, crossed legged under a tree. The boy had began to read again.

 

Winded from the short jog, Gavin managed to ask, “Whatcha doin?” His legs covered in dirt from doing God knows what, the complete opposite of Stern’s clean and crisp clothing.

 

Niles looked up from his book. He took pride that as a third grader, he was already reading at a ninth grade level. It showed in his eyes, and the way he proudly displayed the cover of the book, “I’m reading.”

 

Gavin cocked his head, “But it’s recess. Usually kids have fun during recess. You’re doing something boring.”

 

The older kid scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Reading  _ is _ fun, if you know how to do it.”

 

Gavin’s face turned a shade of red, “I know  _ how _ to read, books are just boring!”

 

“Not if you read the right ones.”

 

“Yeah? Okay smarty-pants, what ones should I read then?”

 

The young brown haired, green eyed, ten year old boy plopped himself down next to his more pale and fragile peer, glancing at the book cover in Nile’s hands.

 

“Aw, that has a dragon on it. It looks cool.”

 

“It’s...very cool.”

 

“What’s it about?”

 

Niles scanned the field, looking to see if anyone else was seeing this. Was this a trap? Were kids going to come out of the bushes and make fun of him for sharing his hobbies with others?

 

But no one was watching. He noticed Connor hanging out with a bunch of kids by the swingset. Another group of kids were playing flag football, and others were scattered around the playground. The ball that had whizzed by his head was discarded a few feet behind him.

 

It was just him and this weird mud-covered boy, sitting under a tree in the long grass.

 

“How about I read it to you? I only just started this today.”

 

Gavin shrugs, “Okay, cool. But this book  _ better _ not be boring.” He held up a finger and pointed it at Niles, though there was no  _ real _ threat along with his words.

 

Niles smiled, and turned back to page one, reading the first sentence, “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit…”

 

\---

 

By the sixth grade, the two had a system. Niles was still the quiet boy who preferred reading over roughhousing, and Gavin was still the nincompoop who liked to make teachers’ lives a living nightmare. However, when they were together, they brought out the other side in each other. Gavin taught Niles how to play basketball ( _ You’re  _ tall _ , you should be good at this game _ , Gavin would say), while Niles would read to Gavin and help him with his homework. 

 

The twins’ foster mother was often at work, and Gavin’s mom was  _ always _ at work. Turns out, they only lived a few blocks away, so hanging out after school was never an issue.

 

And on Christmas of 2012, Amanda Stern made Connor and Niles her sons. The adoption went through, and Niles couldn’t be more happy.

 

Because that meant no more moving, no more meeting new foster parents, no more having to share a room with children who were loud and who destroyed his belongings. His new mother was distant, but beautiful and smart, and he was thankful for her support and guidance for the past year. 

 

Connor felt the same. Or, at least, that’s the impression that Niles received. He and his brother had been raised with just each other to lean on. They knew everything there was to know about each other. One look at the other’s face divulged the emotion the other was feeling at the time. An unspoken language. 

 

That night, as Niles lay stretched out in his own bed, in his  _ own _ room, Connor knocked on the door and let himself in soon after. 

 

“You doing okay?” He asked softly, sitting at the edge of the bed.

 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? This is great news.”

 

The bright lights from their neighbors Christmas lights were the only source of light in the room. They cast a shadow on Connor’s face, making him look a little more solemn than he believed him to be.

 

“Yeah, no more running, right?”

 

Niles sat up and put a hand on his twin’s shoulder, squeezing it tight. “No more running. We’re here for good, okay? I know it might not seem like it’s true, but it is.”

 

Connor smiled weakly, and turned to give his twin a suffocating hug. Niles stroked his hair, letting Connor let out uneven breaths, obviously trying not to cry.

 

“It’s okay Connor, you can let it out. We’ve waited so long for this. You’re allowed to be emotional.”

 

And it’s not like Niles  _ wasn’t _ emotional, he just showed it differently than his brother. 

 

He also did not like talking about it with his brother. He did not want to appear weak. Connor has always been the sensitive one growing up, and Niles had to grow up a little faster to be there for him. 

 

Sometimes, he didn’t think it was always fair. But he would do anything for his brother. And he knew Connor would do the same.

 

So sometimes, instead of burdening Connor with his feelings, he would talk to the only other person he considered a friend. That night, after Connor had calmed down and retreated to his adjoining room, Niles buried himself under the covers and pulled out his phone.

 

-I got adopted today.- he had texted Gavin. The news was big, but he didn’t feel like hyping it up. 

 

-holy crap! that’s so awesome dude! r you happy about it, then?-

 

-I guess. It means I get to stay here, so...I’m glad.-

 

-yeah, me 2 :) -

 

-Merry Christmas, Gavin.-

 

-merry xmas niles!!!-

 

Niles was glad Gavin couldn’t see his beaming smile.

 

\--

 

The sixth grade flew by, middle school came and went, and high school was upon them before they knew it. The twins still were extremely similar in many ways, but they had branched out enough that they were two different people. Connor loved math and science, and joined the mathletes as soon as he was able too. With the rise of coding and robotics, he had an endless stream of opportunities at his disposal. 

 

So, when he got a scholarship to a local private school, his mother was thrilled. Not that she didn’t have the means to pay for it on her own, but it showed the lengths Connor went for his education.

 

Niles, on the other hand, walked through life with his eyes on the ground, or buried in a book. His grades were excellent, but he had no ambitions to do anything but read or write.

 

So, when asked if he wanted to go to a fancy private school for the next four years, he declined. He didn’t see the need, when academics was not the forefront in his life. 

 

Connor was the opposite. He lived for his grades, and chose his friends that had similar academic interests as well. It was only fitting that he go to a fancy private school that cost thousands of dollars a year.

 

Why waste the money on Niles, when he couldn’t care less? It didn’t seem fair to anyone.

 

“It’s because you wouldn’t see Gavin every day, isn’t it?” Connor had asked him, sitting on Nile’s bed while his brother sat at his desk. Niles’ room was clean and tidy, with minimal objects lying around. Posters were perfectly leveled on the walls, and a blackout curtain covered a large window.

 

Niles gripped the pencil in his hand so hard it snapped in half, “That’s not the reason Connor, I already told you! I’m not wasting mother’s money on an education that is no better than the one I would receive for free!”

 

This isn’t the first time they’ve argued about it. The entire summer of going back and forth was starting to wear on Niles. They had never argued this much in their entire life.

 

At just fourteen years old, he really didn’t want to have to go through the pressures of a private school. An  _ expensive _ private school.

 

And maybe he would miss Gavin. A lot. They still lived close though, so that’s really not the reason.

 

Is it?

 

Connor huffed and rolled his eyes, kicking the air beneath his feet absentmindedly. 

 

Tossing the broken pencil in the trash, Niles just sighs, “You wouldn’t understand.”

 

“Try me.” Connor replied without missing a beat.

 

Niles didn’t reply, he just found another pencil and continued his homework without a word.

 

Connor broke the silence after a minute, “I just...don’t know if I can do this without you.”

 

When Niles turned to look at his face, he was not expecting Connor’s eyes to be filled with tears. He had no idea that the reason why Connor wanted him to go to that school was so they could still see each other. He had always assumed his motivations were for his education, or maybe so he didn’t have to see Gavin as much.

 

“Connor, listen to me. You deserve this school. You deserve this education because this is what you were born to do. I don’t need it, and I will be so much happier if I get to stay in a public school, okay?”

 

Connor sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He crossed his arms and stared at his twin, not entirely convinced.

 

And Niles knew that look. It was hard to say no to Connor sometimes,  _ especially _ when he started crying.

 

But this is something he knew he did not want to fold on. 

 

“It will be good for both of us. We need to learn to grow apart from each other. I can’t be by your side for the rest of your life.”

 

The words sounded nicer in his head than they did when he said them outloud. Connor’s eyebrows raised, and Niles’ heart sank.

 

“I love you, Connor. Please don’t forget that.”

 

Connor sighed and stood up from the bed. Niles thought he was going to exit the room without a word, but the teenager stopped before closing the door, muttering softly, “Love you too.”

 

\---

 

Niles had heard somewhere that your high school years were the best years of your life. He wanted to meet the person who originally said that and strangle them.

 

It’s not that high school was bad, it was that it was...fucking horrible. It became harder for Niles to keep to himself in high school, because everyone was in everyone else’s business. There were so many clubs and after-school activities that had obnoxious colored posters in the halls. Kids tried to talk to him while he was reading or listening to music, when he obviously just wanted to be left alone.

 

He found that not leaving Gavin’s side helped with that. People left him alone when he walked side by side with his shorter companion. All the attention was on him. From everyone, the jocks, the nerds, and especially the  _ girls _ . 

 

Niles never thought about girls in  _ that way _ . They were the same as boys, they just smelled nicer and didn’t solve things by wanting to fight it out. He didn’t understand the appeal they seemed to have on every other boy in school. 

 

When Gavin would try to talk about girls with him, he changed the subject immediately. It made him extremely uncomfortable, and he had absolutely no idea why.

 

He didn’t understand just how much it made him uncomfortable until Valentine’s Day of his freshman year.

 

Niles always detested Valentine’s day. He wasn’t a fan of candy, and he wasn’t a fan of being forced to buy his classmates little cards when he didn’t even like all of them.

 

Apparently in high school, you aren’t forced to buy cards and candy for your classmates, which was fantastic news.

 

He just wasn’t expecting it to evolve. What once was cute little cards and puppy love was now escalated. Girls and boys would display publicly that they were ‘going out’ by kissing or hugging, or the occasional pressing them up against a wall display. It was nauseating. 

 

So when Valentine’s day hit, he wasn’t expecting Gavin to receive  _ this  _ much attention. 

 

He received gifts almost all day long. He had so many that they wouldn’t fit in his locker anymore, and Gavin had to recruit him to carry some of the shit. 

 

Niles was furious. He didn’t speak most of the day, just observed Gavin, blushing and smiling at every girl who gave him a rose, or chocolates, or a balloon.

 

Each of them asked if he was still single. The only relief that came to him was when he turned all of them down. One by one, he saw the girls frown and walk away. One even started crying and ran into the bathroom immediately.

 

He didn’t necessarily  _ like _ how he always wanted to smile after it happened, but whatever. 

 

When the final bell rang for the day, Niles let out a sigh of relief. Walking with Gavin to the bus stop, they were stopped by a much taller, and pretty attractive Sophomore. 

 

“Hey Gavin,” the boy said, eyes all on his friend.

 

“Oh, hey Jake, what’s up?”

 

Oh, Jake. A boy on Gavin’s football team. Was he the...quarterback? Who knows. It’s hard to keep up sometimes. All he knew was that Gavin was the wide receiver. That’s all he needed to know.

 

“Hey, listen, can we talk for a sec?” He looked directly at Niles with a large grin. A shiver went up Niles’ spine. He knew that was code for ‘I need to talk to you without your shadow’. 

 

“Uh, now’s not a good time, I gotta make it home with all of this...crap. What’s up?”

 

Jake tore away from Niles’ gaze to look back at Gavin, “Are you doing anything later today?”

 

Gavin shifted, a large teddy bear almost falling out of his arms, “Uh, I was just gunna hang with Niles…”

 

“You wanna do something? There’s that new Vin Diesel movie that came out, or we could just chill at my place…”

 

Niles’ heart seemed to stop. His chest was on fire, but numb at the same time. He had to concentrate on breathing normally, because he felt as though everyone around him noticed his elevated heart rate and uneven breaths. He gripped the bouquet of flowers in his arms tighter. 

 

Gavin looked at Niles, then back at Jake. He was silent for a little bit, almost as if he was debating. What was there to debate? They already had plans. They were going to put on episodes of Dateline and eat pizza and ice cream until one of them puked. That’s what they usually did on stupid holidays like this. 

 

He already had plans. Why does this Jake get to intervene and suddenly, Niles was chopped liver?

 

“Yeah that...that sounds like fun, actually. You don’t mind, do you Niles?”

 

Before he could even respond, Jake replied, “Great! We can leave now if you want, I can drive you.”

 

Gavin looked at Niles. They had been friends for only three years. But he thought Gavin knew him better than this. Niles pleaded with his eyes to not go. They were supposed to spend today together. Gavin leaving to go off driving and spending the afternoon with this tall, handsome,

 

….

 

Oh.

 

Oh shit.

 

Niles was screaming in his own head. He didn’t want Gavin to go because that meant he was possibly going out on a date.

 

With another boy.

 

_ Oh my God. Oh my God. _

 

This was not the time to have a gay crisis. 

 

The bus rolled up and the soft hiss of the doors opening called to him. He wanted to yell at his friend to get on the damn bus, and to forget about this  _ Jake _ .

 

“Yeah, okay. Can you take this shit, Niles? I don’t want to carry it around…” Gavin thrusted the bear and some candy into Niles’ already full arms. “I’ll catch up with you later, ok Nines?”

 

Using his nickname at a time like this almost made Niles cry. Almost.

 

Gavin waved and walked side by side with Handsome Jake. Blond hair, tall, hazel eyes, darker skin, fit. Everything Niles was not.

 

Niles stood at the bus stop, arms full of gifts that were not his, alone. He heard the bus leave, but didn’t turn to look.

 

He walked the two miles to his home. 

 

He walked up the flight of stairs, opened his door, dropped everything in his arms, the soft and plastic objects dropping to the floor. The bouquet of flowers scattering.

 

Niles didn’t know where he got the surge of anger, but he found himself screaming. He kicked the pile of gifts as hard as he could, the flowers separating into petals that flew into the air. The teddy bear hit the wall and landed softly, without sound. Niles screamed again, knowing no one was home, no one could hear him.

 

He had Gavin all to himself for the past three years. He went to the same high school as him because he couldn’t bear to leave him. And he just...ditches him for the first pretty guy he sees.

 

He was naive to think he could keep Gavin to himself forever. He was naive to think that his feelings were simply platonic. 

 

He didn’t even bother to shut his door, he just collapsed on his bed, face down, and sobbed into his pillow.

 

\---

 

He must have fallen asleep, because he woke up to Connor calling his name.

 

He woke up, put on his glasses, and found Connor to be standing in the doorway, shocked to find the state of his room.

 

Shit.

 

The clock said it was 7pm. He must have cried himself to sleep. Connor usually comes home around seven each day, after whatever extracurricular he had for the day. Their mother usually came home an hour after that, after a long day of teaching at the university.

 

Niles stood up abruptly, his face felt gross with the dried tears crusting around his eyes. He started to clean up his room immediately without a word.

 

“Niles...what...is all of this? What happened?”

 

“Nothing happened.”

 

“You are obviously upset.”

 

Niles picked up the petals one by one, holding them in his hands. He should probably get a trash bag.

 

He slipped past Connor and escaped to the kitchen, grabbing a trash bag, and racing back up to his room. He wanted to get everything cleaned up before his mother came home.

 

Connor was still standing in the same place, looking even more confused. He knew his brother would sometimes not share what was going on inside of his head to protect him, but this was not okay.

 

“I need you to talk to me, Niles.”

 

Niles just kept shoving the gifts into the trash bag. He grabbed the stem of one of the flowers and cut himself on a thorn.

 

He cussed under his breath and stared at his hand, watching the blood run down his thumb. The cut on his finger was larger than he expected, but he felt nothing.

 

“Jesus... really Niles…” Connor rushed out of the room and came back with some toilet paper. He knelt down next to his twin and held the toilet paper against the cut and put pressure on it. Connor did not look away from Niles eyes, which made him uncomfortable.

 

“These gifts all say ‘To Gavin’ on them.”

 

A beat.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Please talk to me.”

 

Niles sniffed and still sat there. He could feel his heart beating in his thumb. Connor did not let up on the pressure, even though he was pretty certain the bleeding would have stopped.

 

“Connor... I think I might be gay.”

 

Connor increased the pressure on his finger. 

 

“Okay.”

 

“And I think I’m in love with Gavin.”

 

He let go of his finger completely.

 

“Well...okay then.  _ Finally. _ ”

 

Niles cocked his head, “Huh? Finally?”

 

Connor laughed. He laughed almost too loudly. Niles was not expecting to hear Connor laugh at the moment and it caught him off guard.

 

“Niles, I love you, but sometimes you’re a complete idiot. I’ve known. I just was waiting for you to tell me. I didn’t think... I was waiting for you to  _ figure it out _ .”

 

Niles grabbed the closest stuffed animal and threw it at Connor’s face, who started laughing again.

 

A weight he didn’t know he had was lifted off of his shoulders. It felt good to talk to his brother about stuff like this. He wished he would have done it sooner.

 

“Now that you got that off your chest, you actually want to tell me what happened today?”

 

Niles took a deep breath and started at the beginning.

 

\---

 

That night, Niles lay awake in bed, not able to fall asleep. He blamed it on the fact that he took a devil’s nap after school, but it didn’t help that his mind would not stop racing.

 

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a pebble hitting his window. 

 

He sighed. Seeing Gavin right now was probably not the best idea. He probably wanted to talk about his date with Handsome Jake and gush about it.

 

Unlike Niles, Gavin was very open about his sexuality. Girls, boys, didn’t matter. He envied his confidence, but that’s why he liked him so much. He’s not shy about anything, which balances Niles’ personality out. 

 

Another pebble at the window. Niles got out of bed and looked out. Gavin was down there, in the same clothes as earlier, waving up at him. 

 

_ Fine. _

 

He carefully walked down the stairs, opened up the sliding glass door to let Gavin in. They said nothing until they were safely back in Niles room with the door closed.

 

He was thankful he had finished cleaning up his room. No need to explain that to Gavin right now.

 

Gavin took off his shoes and launched himself into Niles bed. Niles frowned.

 

“What?”

 

Gavin patted the bed next to him. He’s lucky he had a queen sized bed, because he really didn’t want to squeeze into a small bed with his friend right now.

 

Niles sat on the bed and laid down on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

 

“You’re mad. I know that. And I wanted to come over to apologize.”

 

Niles scoffed, “The great Gavin Reed, apologize? I never thought I’d see the day.”

 

“Please,” Gavin said so softly, that Niles had to look at him to make sure he was still there, still himself.

 

Gavin was on his side, facing Niles. He was giving him the same old puppy eyes that Connor would give him. Damn these boys and their ability to manipulate him.

 

Niles sighed loudly and also turned to face Gavin.

 

“How was your date with what’s his face?”

 

“Ja--yeah. It was okay.”

 

Niles held his breath, “Just okay?”

 

Gavin rolled his eyes, “I’m sure you don’t want to hear about it.”

 

“You’re right, I don’t, I was just being polite.”

 

Gavin smiled and pushed Niles lightly on the chest. “Loser.”

 

“Why are you here, Gavin?”

 

“Because you’re my friend and I wanted to see you.”

 

“Interesting that you’re here, when you could probably be spending the night with  _ Quarterback _ . I’m sure he’s better company than me anyway.”

 

“Don’t do that, Nines. I’m here because I wanted to say I’m sorry for bailing on you early. And that I would rather be here than with...  _ Quarterback _ ... anyway.”

 

Niles didn’t reply right away. He let those words sink in. He found it hard to believe Gavin would chose Niles over Mr. Handsome Face. He knew that they were teammates and also friends. He could probably have more fun with him anyway, in more ways than one.

 

“But... why?”

 

So much was left unsaid. The silence this time was almost deafening. He could hear himself think loudly over it, with all of the things he wanted to confess to Gavin. He wanted to bridge the gap between them and just hold him, telling him how he wanted to be more than just friends. How he wanted him to never go out on a date with a handsome boy ever, ever again.

 

Maybe Niles didn’t want Gavin to answer, afraid that he didn’t feel the same.

 

Gavin scooted forward until his face was pressed up against his chest, wrapping his arms around the other boy. He squeezed tightly, as if he were holding on to him to prevent him from leaving.

 

Gavin muffled something into his shirt. It tickled Niles, and he pushed on his forehead away from him so he could actually hear him speak.

 

“Can you repeat that, please?”

 

Gavin sighed, staring at Niles’ black shirt rather than his face, “Because I missed you.”

 

Niles hummed and let Gavin press his face against his chest again. He ran his fingers through the brunette’s hair with his left hand, while his right arm was going numb from the weight of his friend’s head.

 

He didn’t know what he was doing. And he didn’t know why Gavin was allowing him to do this. This felt... too intimate as friends. Bros don’t usually snuggle on a bed and stroke their hair softly. That seemed too...  _ gay. _

 

But Niles wished he could stay like this forever. It was easy to forgive Gavin for the shit he pulled when he was like this. Relaxed in his arms, his hand softly stroking his back to the same rhythm that Niles was stroking his hair.

 

They would probably have to talk about this, later. But for now, everything was right in the world.

 

\---

 

They never  _ did _ actually talk about that night. Gavin woke up before Niles, softly scooted out of his embrace, and left without a word.

 

Their friendship went on as normal. Gavin continued to be the life of the party, but seemed to keep his distance with people romantic wise. He said no to the girls and guys who asked him to prom. He said no to every date he was asked out on. And everytime Niles was around to see the rejection, Gavin would look at him before saying no, as if he needed his approval.

 

It probably wasn’t healthy. But as long as it meant Gavin and him could be together in peace, even if they didn’t put a label on it, he took what he could get.

 

\---

 

The next years of high school went by faster than Niles had anticipated. Connor was doing amazing in high classes, and when it came down to college applications, he could go anywhere he wanted. Universities were begging him to go to their school and represent them. 

 

Niles had gotten into the University of Michigan. He was set to move to Ann Arbor at the conclusion of the summer. His mother had wanted him to go to the University of Colbridge where she taught, which made sense, since he would have his tuition paid for.

 

But he got a decent sized scholarship for the University of Michigan. It would allow him to move away from his family and start to concentrate on himself. Gavin did not express wanting to go to college, so maybe he would consider moving to Ann Arbor with him and get a job. 

 

Niles was looking forward to spending that summer with his friend before making a big move, no matter what his decision was. Yet after graduation, Gavin ghosted him.

  
  


\---

 

Niles never thought in a million years that his best friend would ghost him. It was if he had vanished from his life completely, with the only proof that he ever existed were the many photographs of them together.

 

They had partied pretty hard the night of graduation. The night was mostly a blur, only remembering that he never left Gavin’s side, his hand never left Gavin’s, and his mom had scolded him when he got home at three in the morning.

 

So the next day, he figured he should walk to Gavin’s to tell him he was without any form of communication as his punishment. But there was no answer at the door.

 

Strange.

 

He tried for twenty minutes before giving up and walking back home. He tried later that day, and the morning of the next day, and that afternoon.

 

Finally, someone opened the door. Ms. Reed.

 

“Oh, hello Ms. Reed. Is Gavin there?”

 

Although Gavin seemed to be doing the ghosting, Ms. Reed was the one who looked like she had seen a ghost. Her eyes were wide, and her stance was still, as if she was shocked to see her son’s best friend at her door.

 

“Oh, hello sweetie. Gavin... he didn’t tell you?”

 

Niles frowned, “Tell me what?”

 

“Gavin packed up his things yesterday and moved out. He’s living with his uncle until he can find a job and a place of his own.”

 

Niles froze, opening his mouth to ask more questions. He didn’t even know where to start.

 

He had absolutely no idea Gavin moved out. He was pretty sure Gavin didn’t even  _ like _ his uncle. He knew he lived in the actual city of Detroit, but had no idea where. Or why he would do this.

 

“I... no, he didn’t tell me. I’m sorry but I’m... confused. Could you relay to Gavin that I wish to speak to him, please? He can call Connor--”

 

“I’m not sure that would be the best thing right now, Niles. I think Gavin needs some time alone.”

 

More confusion. What had happened the other night? He knew there were lapses in his memory, but he remembered leaving Gavin at his house, drunk off his ass, but smiling. He had to pry himself off of him to go home that night.

 

“Ms. Reed, I’m not sure I understand--”

 

“Just give him time, Niles, I’m sure he’ll come around. You know Gav, he’s a stubborn ass. I really should go, I have dinner plans in an hour…”

 

Niles did his best to smile, “Of course, Ms. Reed. Thank you so much for your time.”

 

Niles ran home, confused, angry, and upset. He wanted to get to the bottom of this and find out why Gavin up and left town without saying goodbye.

 

Unfortunately, all of his leads turned up to nothing. He had asked Connor first, who knew nothing. As soon as he was able to use social media again, he contacted a few of Gavin’s teammates. Nothing. He had apparently told no one of his plans.

 

He didn’t want to bother Ms. Reed again, but he had no other choice. He had one more conversation with her, but she didn’t budge on telling him where Gavin was staying. She insisted Gavin would call him as soon as he was over whatever he was getting over.

 

It would be a long time before he ever heard Gavin’s voice.

 

\---

 

Almost twenty years later, Niles sat at his desk at the Detroit Police Department Headquarters, drinking his lukewarm coffee. He stared at his brother, an MIT grad school graduate, going over statistics with his partner.

 

Niles had gone into law enforcement, despite his mother’s objections. He had graduated college and enrolled in the DPD academy soon after. With a degree in Criminal Justice, he didn’t have many other options.

 

His brother had graduated from Harvard undergrad in engineering, and MIT graduate school with a discipline in robotics and AI. Following in his mother’s footsteps. At least one of them did. At least she could be proud of one of them.

 

Niles had worked his way up from patrol to Detective within two years, which is the bare minimum of time required to promote to Detective. At the age of twenty four, he was already given the responsibilities of solving cases. Mainly, accidental or medial death cases. Those that are a little suspicious that require some sort of investigation to be able to soundly say that the person died of a matter that was not criminally related.

 

His brother had joined the department as it began its new robotics program. The future was here, and androids, robotics, and AI were apart of it. He was thrilled when his brother decided to move back home to work alongside him. The past few years had been incredibly lonely, and to have his brother back was the best thing that has happened in a long time.

 

Niles didn’t have much of a social life. After work, he came home, unwinded with a book and a glass of wine, watered his plants, and went to bed. He did this almost every night, alone, besides his plants to keep him company.

 

It wasn’t the best, but it was his life. Ever since Gavin had exited his life, he walked through it with a gaping hole he was never able to repair. He did try to date, a few times, guys on the force with him. It never worked out. There was never anything more than physical attraction with any of them, and he was lost, yet again.

 

When Connor moved back to town, he was on Niles’ case like a hawk. Constantly checking in on him, bringing him food, staying over for long periods of time. He tried to get him to open an online dating profile, but that was short lived.

 

He knew his brother was just worried. All of his childhood, Niles was the one who protected Connor. Maybe now, as adults, he was okay with Connor trying to take care of him.

 

Years went by, and both the Stern twins worked their way up the ranks in the department. Niles made it to Homicide at the age of thirty-three, and Connor was now in charge of the whole android section of the department. 

 

Things were looking up in their careers, but Niles still felt that hole. He didn’t feel it all of the time, just occasionally. When Connor would be in a relationship, and he was the third wheel. During Christmas, when he was on call and had no one but his brother and mother text him Merry Christmas. As he stood over a dead body, someone who was violently murdered, he wondered what was the point of anything.

 

He especially felt it every single Valentine’s day. The memory of that fateful Valentine’s day in high school was both the worst and the best day of his life. He knew it wasn’t healthy to dwell on the past, but memories were all he had at times.

 

As he approached the age of forty, he became more and more depressed. Sinking his teeth into his career was all he had, and if that were to ever be taken away from him, accidentally or by force, he would have nothing.

 

And that scared him.

 

Niles was having an extra upsetting day. One of those days where getting out of bed seemed too difficult, but he powered through, making himself look presentable, as always.

 

His boss’s voice definitely woke him up more when he shouted his name, calling him into his office.

 

Fowler was a good boss, that recognized the strengths and weaknesses of his people. He noticed that Niles had a knack for teaching, and exploited that ever since he was first introduced to his squad. Niles, as soon as he was able to, would take in new Homicide detectives and mentor them before they were released on their own. He assumed him being called into Fowler’s office meant he was getting another victim, since someone had just retired around a month ago.

 

As he approached the glass office, he noticed a man sitting in the chair facing his boss’s desk. He was wearing a tight brown leather jacket, his hair dark brown and slicked down. Walking around to the door, he finally got a good look at his profile, and…

 

No.

 

It couldn’t be.

 

He thought he was seeing things, and rubbed his eyes before grabbing the door handle to the office. Sure enough, the man turned to look at him. Green eyes as beautiful as he remembered, scar still there on his nose. 

 

It took Gavin a second to also recognize who he was looking at.

 

“Officer Reed, this is Detective Stern. He is going to be your mentor here in Homicide until you make the promotion to Detective. He’s the best we have, so he’ll treat you right. If you have any questions, make sure to ask him.”

 

The men barely heard Fowler over the ringing in their ears. It was as if time had stopped, and they were alone in the room together, reunited after twenty years. Twenty years was a long time, it was almost a whole other adult who could go out and drink and party with them. 

 

Niles didn’t remember replying to his boss, but he must have because Fowler ushered them out of his office and told them to get acquainted. It took everything in Niles’ power to move his legs out of the office, towards his desk. Before he knew it, he was sitting across from Gavin, his eyes not leaving his own.

 

“I can’t believe this. I knew you and your brother worked here, cause word gets around, but I didn’t think I would actually get to see you. Or even work with you. It’s been...it’s been…”

 

“Twenty years,” was the first thing that came out of Niles’ mouth. His throat felt dry.

 

“Yeah,  _ fuck _ , that long, huh? Jesus. How have you….how have you been?”

 

That’s it? How has he been? Oh, it’s been great Gavin, thanks for asking! I know you had some sort of freak out and ran away from your problems and never once gave me closure, but these twenty years have just been  _ fan fucking tastic _ !

 

It took everything in him not to yell, or say those words. He clenched his teeth so he wouldn’t be tempted. 

 

And, after everything seeing Gavin brought him nothing but joy. Past the initial anger from the betrayal, seeing Gavin’s face again after so long comforted him.

 

Like his missing piece had come back to him.

 

“I’ve been okay. How...I didn’t even know you were in the department.”

 

Gavin shrugged, leaning back in the chair, “Yeah, I joined the academy right after high school. I was dicking around as an officer for a long time, but decided I needed a change in scenery. Thought about becoming a K9 officer, but I’m more of a cat person, so.”

 

Incredible Gavin was talking as though nothing was wrong. Niles supposed that was the professional thing to do, because having a heart to heart while at work probably wasn’t the best idea.

 

His computer binged, and Niles looked up to a message from his boss. Apparently, crime didn’t stop so Niles could get his shit together.

 

“Homicide on 9th and Adams. You ready to get your feet wet, Officer?”

 

Reed smiled and stood up, grabbing a notebook and a pen, “Let’s fucking do this.”

 

\---

 

Reuniting with Gavin was not how Niles had dreamed it would be. He had envisioned that there would be significantly more crying, maybe some hugging, maybe some kissing... who knows. But that? Was not it.

 

The next few weeks were not as awkward as one would have thought, considering the air had not been cleared, and there was still not closure on either end. 

 

Niles felt like he was in high school all over again. Stepping around each other, Niles not wanting to creep Gavin out with too much affection, but allowing Gavin to show whatever sort of affection he wanted with no push or shove. And, just like before, Niles will accept Gavin any way he wanted to be in his life. If that meant Gavin not ever bringing up their complicated past, then so be it.

 

There was a fear that talking about it would open up wounds. Gavin seemed to be his normal self. It was as though nothing had changed since he last saw him, except for his filling out from a scrawny, yet slightly muscular teen, to a very buff and filled out man. He was lying to himself if he didn’t find Gavin ten times more attractive now, at the age of thirty-eight. He noticed a few strands of grey hair appear, only to be corrected with dye a few days later. 

 

Niles was noticing a lot about Gavin since they started working together. It was as if he got his old friend back, but was still learning about him as an adult, that it made things exciting again. He now knew how Gavin liked his coffee, or the new shows he liked. He loved going to the gym, which Niles also liked, if this was going to be his daily view. He had opinions on the sequels they never got to see together. He found out they lived in the same neighborhood, that Ms. Reed was doing great, and that Gavin...was single.

 

He had no ring. He did not talk about anyone. But of course, Niles, being the detective that he was, confirmed it with social media.

 

Which he might have persuaded Connor to hack into.

 

For scientific purposes, of course.

 

And because of that fact, they were fine. Everything was fine. 

 

Until it was not. Everyone had a breaking point, and it was only a matter of time before Gavin hit his.

  
  


\---

 

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

 

Gavin looked like he was severely drunk, but his words did not slur, and he was at work, which lowered the chances of him actually being drunk. His hands by his side did not shake. His eyes were bloodshot and it looked like he put his clothes on in the dark.

 

The drive to the crime scene had been silent, with Gavin driving without music in the background. It was antagonizing. Niles wished he would say anything,  _ anything _ , but of course he waited until halfway through the crime scene investigation, in the bathroom of the deceased. He shut the door loudly behind him.

 

Gavin had been pretty quiet for the past few days. It was odd, since he thought everything was going okay. He guessed Gavin was just waiting for the opportunity to discuss their past, he just wished he didn’t blow up at him at work. Now was not the best time, but he supposed there really wasn’t a  _ great _ time.

 

“Why don’t you enlighten me, Detective?” Niles shot out. 

 

Gavin cleared the gap between them and jabbed his finger hard on his sternum, “You are the one who told me to get out of your life! You’re... you…” 

 

Niles had seen Gavin cry approximately six times in his life. Four of those times he was shit faced.

 

Yet, he had never seen Gavin cry as an adult. The man was built like a brick; all muscle, tight shirts, tight pants. The fact that he was gripping Niles’ shirt and openly sobbing was...a sight to see. He honestly did not know what to do. Gavin had barely talked to him since their reunion, and now he was openly crying on him while they were at work.

 

It broke his heart. Shattered it. It’s as if he was eighteen again, knocking on Gavin’s door, and it never opening.

 

“Gavin I... I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Niles said softly. He wanted to hug the man, but he was angry, despite the tears. He wasn’t sure if he should touch him.

 

Gavin abruptly stopped crying, pushing away slightly and running his hand over his face. He sniffed, then finally made eye contact with Niles’ piercing blue eyes, “What the  _ fuck _ are you talking about? The... the text messages you sent? Hours after graduation?”

 

Niles just stared, “Gavin, my mother took my phone away when I got home, shitfaced at three in the morning. I would not have been able to text you after that.”

 

“Then... why…”

 

A thought came across Niles’ brain and it was if a truck hit him dead on. He stood perfectly still, unable to move, “Gavin, tell me what this text said.”

 

He sniffed again, “Is this a joke?”

 

“Gavin. Tell me what the text message said.”

 

The man had calmed down, his breathing was regulated and the sniffing had stopped. Curious about the situation, he spoke slowly, “You... told me that you never wanted to see me ever again. That I was holding you back from your ‘true potential’. That... our friendship meant absolutely nothing to you. All of my worst fears, put in front of me, in text form.

 

“When you came knocking on my door the next morning, I couldn’t see you. I figured you were coming over for some half ass apology, and you had broke my heart, Niles. I couldn’t…”

 

He stood still. Niles wanted to reach out to Gavin, pull him close, and sob with him. Sob until they were both exhausted, out of tears, out of breath. Hold him and never let go, to make up for all of the distance these past two decades.

 

He was robbed of almost twenty years without his best friend. Without someone he immensely loved. All because of a few text messages that he did not even write.

 

Niles was trying to find the right words. He would open his mouth and then immediately close it. He almost looked like a fish out of water, gasping for air, attempting to grasp the right words from the segments of his mind.

 

How does he tell someone who meant so much to him that everything he thought he was for the past twenty years was a lie?

 

So he didn’t use his words. He used his mouth, but in an entirely different manner.

 

He kissed him. It was hard, and fast, and uncoordinated. Gavin was pushed up again the front of the sink, the hard tiles digging into his lower back. Gavin let out a strangled sound of surprise, but didn’t resist. He eventually closed his eyes and opened his mouth to let Niles in.

 

A voice inside Niles’ head was screaming at him for his behavior at a crime scene. There were more important matters at hands than his squabble with his ex best friend. 

 

But he rarely listened to those voices. He just held Gavin close, slowing down his kissing, tuning it down from urgent and with haste to relaxed and passionate. He slipped his tongue in and Gavin moaned loudly.

 

A loud thumping noise rang out in the other room, with a “ _ FUCK!” _ to follow. Gavin and Niles pulled apart quickly, eyes flying open, being jerked back into reality.

 

“That... was that the crime scene specialist... dropping…” Niles was out of breath at the moment, and seeing Gavin’s flushed face, lips swollen, was not helping his heart rate go down.

 

“I…” Gavin straightened up and brushed off invisible lint off of his shirt and pants. He cleared his throat, “Niles, what the... what the  _ fuck _ was that…”

 

“We need to discuss this later, in depth. Right now we should probably get back…”

 

The door to the bathroom swung open, the short blond crime scene girl still holding on to the door knob with gloved hands. She cocked an eyebrow up immediately, and the men knew instantly that they were caught. Even if they were not standing as far away from each other as possible, there’s no way that the technician was  _ that _ stupid.

 

“Hey, Detectives, the crime scene is  _ not _ in this room.” She used her free hand to point behind her, “Dead people are that way, in case you forgot.”

 

“Yes, I apologize. We were having a brief meeting about the case and needed privacy.”

 

The young girl grinned, “Yeah, okay, sure, whatever you say. The medical examiner is here, thought you would both like to know.”

 

“Thanks,” Gavin managed to say, his voice quiet.

 

The girl rolled her eyes and walked towards the dead bodies. 

 

Gavin and Niles, alone again, just looked each other up and down, and laughed.

 

“Having a makeout session within thirty feet of a double homicide scene is  _ not _ how I thought our first kiss would go, Stern.” Gavin joked, shoving Niles to the side to make room for him to exit the small bathroom.

 

Niles followed, whispering close to his ear, “How did you imagine it, then?”

 

Gavin grinned as he continued to navigate his way through the home, “Looks like we both have things to share later, huh?”

 

 


	2. /2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the smut commence! Thanks for reading!

They agreed to meet at Gavin’s apartment after they both got some sleep. Of course, neither of them could actually  _ sleep _ .

 

-i can’t sleep, nines, i need to know- Niles’ phone lit up the dark room, illuminating the ceiling with bright white light.

 

Niles picked up the phone and allowed his eyes to adjust, reading the text twice before deciding how to respond. He knows he should sleep on it, and maybe even dig up information to see if what he thinks is actually  _ true _ , but the truth was that he missed his dumbass friend so much. Only having him back for a month and having him pretend like he didn’t exist beyond being a coworker was  _ killing _  him, and now that they almost reconciled, he needed him. His body ached for him.

 

Niles had not been able to love another person since Gavin walked out of his life. Gavin tried to love too many people, and was left unsatisfied every time.

 

-please-

 

-let me come over-

 

-i need to know-

 

-i need you-

 

Niles planted his feet on the ground, the bottoms of his feet hitting the cold concrete surface, sending a chill up his spine.

 

-Okay. I’m here. You can come over.-

 

It took Gavin six minutes. The knock on the door rang out in the otherwise quiet apartment.

 

When Niles opened the door, he expected to find a tired Gavin, but not... this. Gavin looked like a racoon who had been living in the trash can for months without food or water. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot red, likely from lack of sleep and possibly crying. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants that had questionable visible stains, and a t-shirt that was so loose on him, his collarbone was showing on his right side. His hair was disheveled, not the tame mane Niles was used to seeing. Even as a teen, he kept his hair slicked back and presentable.

 

He owed Gavin so much for dealing with this bullshit. He wanted to reverse time, go back to that rainy day in May, to see Gavin beaming at him from a few rows away on the football field. A sea of graduation hats and mist from the rain obstructed most of his view, but he’d be damned if he didn’t see Gavin Reed smiling at him.

 

A picture of them on that day was framed and propped up in Niles’ home, even to this day. Connor told him it wasn’t healthy, that he should take it down.

 

He didn’t have the heart. And now, Gavin Reed was standing at his door, in the flesh, looking like half the man he was on that rainy day in May. Broken, alone, miserable.

 

Gavin walked in and Niles shut and locked the door behind him. It must have been thirty degrees fahrenheit outside and Gavin appeared at his doorstep in Adidas sandals and no jacket.  

 

“Here, you look absolutely miserable,” Niles led Gavin to his couch, sat him down, and covered him in a large blanket. “I’m going to make some tea.”

 

“I--”

 

“No. You are not speaking right now. I am going to make some tea, and then I’m going to sit next to you, and I am going to tell you exactly what happened, okay?”

 

Gavin nodded, huddling the blanket closer to his body.

 

Niles filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove. Next he looked through his cabinets for some tea. Green tea, which he knew Gavin would actually drink. He had always been more of a fan of coffee, but he knew if he made the tea sweet enough he wouldn’t care.

 

The only noise coming from the apartment was Gavin’s slow breathing, and the water starting to bubble. Niles remembered when he used to spend the night at Gavin’s, falling asleep to the soft snoring of his friend. It was comforting, knowing that there was someone else next to him, even if they were off in dream world.

 

After he finished with the tea, Niles sat next to his childhood friend and held the mug out. Gavin wiggled his hands out of the large blanket to accept it.

 

“Now, I want to explain what I believe to be the truth. I am going to start at the beginning, and catch you up on what has been going on in my life for the past two decades. Can you wait until the end to say anything or ask questions, please?”

 

Gavin blew on the top of the steaming mug and nodded before taking a sip. His green eyes found Niles’ blue, and he knew that he was in for an emotional journey. One that neither of them knew if they were ready for.

 

Niles took in a large breath and exhaled slowly. Dressed in nothing but a pair of pajama pants and a thin long sleeved t-shirt, he felt incredibly exposed. Was there an appropriate outfit to confess your feelings to your best friend? Probably not, but this wasn’t it.

 

Niles changed his seat from sitting beside Gavin to across from him, taking a seat in the smaller leather couch, so he could look at Gavin face to face.

 

“Gavin, let me start off by apologizing to you. I did not mean for any of this to happen. You were unfortunately caught in the crossfire of something that a certain family member of mine was trying to accomplish, and I will never be able to forgive them for it.” Niles ran a hand through his hair and sighed again.

 

There was a sense of vulnerability that Niles was radiating, and Gavin picked up on it. So much so, he did not want to bring the mug back to his lips in case he missed a beat in Niles’ speech. He continued to hold it in both hands, letting the heat warm his body.

 

“You were my best friend--no, my only friend growing up. I thought we were going to do everything in our lives together. The moment I realized that was not going to happen was the moment a part of my life ended. A part of me left my body, and I have spent the last twenty years trying to fill that void in my heart to no avail. The moment you walked back into my life was the best thing that has even happened to me, aside from meeting you for the first time.”

 

Gavin tightened his grip on the mug. He held on with all that he could. It was as if the mug was the only thing keeping him grounded at the moment.

 

Another sigh from Niles, but he did not break eye contact with Gavin for long. “I wanted so many answers when you returned, but when you didn’t mention anything, I figured you must have forgiven me for whatever I had done, that everything was forgotten. I just wanted to be a part of your life in whatever way possible, even if that meant not bringing up our past. I had no idea that your emotions were bottling up inside for you to explode at me at the crime scene. If I had known earlier, I would have wanted to sit down and have a discussion with you.

 

“But... after we kissed, I knew that we had shared the same feelings. Everything had started to click, except that mystery text. So, I did some investigating.”

 

Gavin smiled for the first time that night, and muttered, “Typical detective…”

 

“No interrupting.” Niles warned, but with no threat behind it. Gavin nodded for his friend to continue.

 

“That text message was from my mother. She had confiscated my phone after graduation night, because she felt as though you were a bad influence on my academic career, despite my decent grades and my acceptance into several colleges.

 

“She hid this information from me, and even told me to forget about you when I mentioned your distance. I, of course, confronted her about this today.”

 

Gavin’s eyes widened, “And?”

 

“She admitted to everything.”

 

Niles looked down, his eyes glossing over with what was soon to be tears. Gavin was the emotional one between the two of them, and he was unsure if he knew how to handle a crying Niles.

 

He sat the mug down on the coffee table and took one of Niles’ hands into his. The blanket slipped off of his shoulders a bit, allowing the cold back into Gavin’s body.

 

But he was numb. This was a lot to take in. He had assumed he knew everything that had happened the worst day of his life, but this was something he had never considered.

 

He had years of turning Niles into the bad guy to peel back. He wanted to remember the old Niles again, not the monster he had turned him into as an adult.

  
And it was so easy to do. Niles, with his baby blue eyes, his soft dark hair, his big hands touching Gavin’s own. He could fall in love with him again, and again, and again.

 

“I love you, Niles.”

 

As if it was on queue, a tear fell down Niles’ cheek, and Niles just gripped Gavin’s hands harder.

 

“Even...even after all of this? After all of this time?”

 

Gavin, now also filled with emotion, coughed back a sob into his elbow. He got up, the blanket falling to the floor, and he got on his knees in front of Niles. “I never  _ stopped _  loving you, you idiot. I was heartbroken and confused, but you were always there in the back of my mind. You were there with me the day I graduated from the academy, the day I got my first assignment as a cop, the first time I was shot--”

 

Niles grabbed both sides of Gavin’s face, watching tears stream down them, feeling the wetness glide past his hands. He leaned forward to put his forehead against Gavin’s, their noses touching, feeling his hot breath against his own. He held him close as he sobbed, his body shaking.

 

“I am... so sorry. Nothing I will ever do will ever make up for lost time. You were with me too, Gavin. I have not loved another person, and I will never love anyone else as strongly as I love you right now.”

 

Gavin forced a laugh, placing his hands over Niles’ larger ones. “You sappy idiot. You don’t have to make up for lost time, just be with me, right now. And tomorrow. And the next day.”

 

Niles closed the gap and kissed him again, chastly, tasting the salt behind the tears. He pulled back slowly, and watched Gavin’s eyes flutter open, “What about the day after that?”

 

He pulled the hands off of his face and, in one fluid motion, sat up and straddled Niles’ lap. “Every day that you can handle me.”

 

Niles chuckled, planting a kiss on the scar on Gavin’s nose. He remembered the day he got that; he had pissed off a fellow high schooler who hit him in the face with a glass soda bottle. It shattered on his face, narrowly missing his eyes. That was the first time Niles had fought someone, and Gavin, blood flowing down his face, will never forget that day.

 

There were a lot of days that involved Niles that Gavin would never forget. He feels like today may also be one of them.

 

“Sounds like a plan. Now that our emotions are out in the open…” Niles grabbed Gavin’s ass, scooting him closer to him, “I’m assuming you would enjoy having intercourse with me?”

 

Gavin rolled his eyes and grunted, “Don’t call it... you know what, I don’t even care.” He wrapped his arms around Niles shoulders, bringing his face closer to his for a heated kiss.

 

Niles moved his hands up Gavin’s back and slipped them under his shirt, feeling his hot skin against his own. Gavin rolled his hips forward and back at an antagonizing slow pace. Niles moaned into Gavin’s mouth, and Gavin grinned.

 

Pulling apart from Gavin for a second, Niles looked at him up and down. The shell of the man who entered his home was gone, and he now had his Gavin back. Although a little sleep deprived, he was just as he imagined him. Beautiful, face flushed, eyes hooded with lust. He wished he could savor this moment to replay it on a rainy day.

 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Gavin said, grinning ear to ear.

 

He knew Gavin enough to know how much he loved attention. When all eyes were on him, that’s when he was the happiest.

 

And Niles was happy to oblige.

 

“You know, Gavin,” Niles slowly ran his hand under Gavin’s sweatpant covered thigh, “You never did tell me how you imagined our first kiss.”

 

Gavin took Niles’ hand and moved it to career the inside of his thigh instead, “Yeah, you wanna know?”

 

Niles just looked at him and smiled, not saying a word.

 

“You know the night I came to you after that shitty date with Jake?”

 

Niles frowned. Gavin poked the side of his face, “No! Listen. Remember how I came to your room and held you? That was the night, Niles. I was gunna tell you everything, I wanted to kiss you all night and tell you how much you meant to me. But…”

 

“But... what?”

 

Gavin sighed, “I was afraid. You never told me that you were interested in guys... or girls, for that matter. You always seemed distant when it came to romantic stuff, so I was afraid you didn’t want that with anyone, nevermind with me.”

 

Niles smiled again, planting small kisses on Gavin’s neck. He arched his head up to allow more access.

 

“Hmmm,” Niles mumbled against Gavin’s skin. It made him shiver. “You’re right, I didn’t want that with just _  anyone _ , I wanted that with you. But after you had  _ ditched _  me, I assumed that you wanted other things.”

 

Gavin shucked his shirt off and discarded it on the floor, then ran his hands through his hair, “Well, we were both fucking idiots, and now that we are adults who have twenty years to make up for, I suggest we speed things up before I explode.”

 

Before Gavin could react, Niles grabbed the bottom of both of his thighs, and lifted him up with one fluid motion. Gavin squeaked, then cleared his throat, obviously embarrassed at the noise. He looked at Niles’ face and realized he shouldn’t be embarrassed, because it was obvious that it had a  _ very _  good effect on him.

 

Niles effortlessly carried Gavin to his bedroom and threw him haphazardly onto the bed. Gavin was extremely impressed that someone as thin as Niles could hoist him around the room like a ragdoll.

 

Climbing over him like an animal over prey, Niles hovered over Gavin, face to face. Gavin smirked and brought his hands up to Niles head, bringing him in for another kiss.

 

They made out like horny teenagers for what seemed like hours, Niles urging Gavin to make those soft little noises that turned him on.

 

A shame that they were approaching forty and doing this for the first time, but they had the rest of their lives to learn their bodies. Niles wanted to do this slow and do it right, even though Gavin was silently protesting. His whines and body rutting against his were driving him crazy, but he didn’t want to give in so quickly.

 

“Please, Nines, I’m dying here…” Gavin finally spoke up, whining in between kisses to Niles’ chest. They both were going to be covered in hickies next time they walked into work, and that brought a smile to Niles’ face.

 

“Patience love, we have all night…”

 

Even though he knew that both of them were sleep deprived and would probably pass out as soon as they were done, but still, no rush.

 

Gavin grunted and pushed Niles to the side and flipped their positions, him straddling his lover, satisfied he could pick up the pace from this position. Niles’ still was fully clothed, and Gavin had on just his thin sweatpants and boxers. Gavin tugged Niles’ t-shirt off of him as quickly as he could, which made Niles chuckle.

 

“Laugh it up now, cause you won’t be laughing when I’m done with you.”

 

Niles’ blue eyes burned into Gavin’s eyes, “Okay, then show me.”

 

“You’re relinquishing control a little too quickly, Stern. I’m that persuasive, huh?”

 

Niles frowned and tensed up a bit.

 

Gavin starred. Something in the air shifted.

 

“You alright? Want to slow it down again? Sorry, I’m just eager…”

 

“No it’s fine, I just...it dawned at me how...not experienced I am at this.”

 

Gavin leaned back on his heels for a second while he gave Niles some space, “Like, sex? You haven’t had sex before?”

 

Niles slowly shook his head, all of a sudden avoiding eye contact. This obviously embarrassed him. He was confident just a few seconds ago.

 

“Hey, look at me,” Gavin said, carefully moving Niles’ chin so they could look at each other again, “I love you, and I want to do whatever to make you feel comfortable, okay? Just talk to me. Tell me what you want.”

 

Niles grabbed Gavin and moved him closer to him, “I want this. I just...want you to take it easy on me, okay?”

 

“Niles, if you hadn’t told me the truth a second ago, I would have never guessed. You’re a fucking  _ great _  kisser, and you got some moves.”

 

Niles smiled, “Really?”

 

Gavin knew Niles was not much of a talker. In social situations, he was the one who opened his mouth. Although he solved many problems with his fist growing up, he knew he had to do the talking over his friend. But he knew if this new relationship was going to blossom into something great, he needed to get Niles to talk to him.

 

“Yes, and I think if you tell me exactly what you want, we can make things work out, yeah? Does that sound okay?”

 

Niles nodded.

 

“I need you to verbally say yes.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay, well,” Gavin lifted his legs so he could have room to shimmy Niles’ pants off of him, “Let’s see what you got down here…”

 

“You’ve seen me naked before…” Niles blushed as Gavin slowly moved the pants and boxers down his legs.

 

“As  _ kids _ . This is something....” Gavin paused, admiring the view, “ _ Different. _ ”

 

Niles tried to switch gears a bit. He didn’t like being the blushing maiden in this scenario, “Like what you see, Reed?”

 

Gavin blushed, “Fuck yeah. Tell me what you want me to do with this…” he took his hand and slowly stroked Niles’ length, causing him to moan. He was much larger than Gavin, and he was already salivating at the thought.

 

Gavin had not been with as many men as Niles believes, he thinks. He might seem like a player, but when it came to sex, it was very orchestrated. He wanted to  _ feel _  something when he was intimate with someone else, and he was feeling a whole lot right now. Niles’ dick was hard and warm, and the look on his friend’s face as he stroked him harder was photograph worthy.

 

“Please...I…” Niles was having a hard time forming sentences. He had done this before, by himself, but this was... _ very _  different. Having someone be this close was amazing.

 

He tried not to think about how he should have done this twenty years ago.

 

“Talk to me baby, tell me what you want.”

 

“I want...your mouth on me.”

 

“Yeah?” Gavin kissed the side of Niles’ neck, and planted kisses down his chest before making it to his legs. Niles opened his legs up for easier access, and Gavin grinned and paused.

 

“Please…” Niles grabbed the back of Gavin’s neck gently, urging him to make contact with him. He was already leaking, and Gavin licked his lips.

 

He licked the tip first, dragging his tongue to collect the precum. Niles shuttered, his whole body tensing at the sensation.

 

“Relax, baby, you gotta relax, this is gunna feel good, okay?”

 

“Yeah…” Niles said and unclenched a bit. His heels digging less into the side of Gavin’s body.

 

Getting back to it, Gavin gave more kitten licks before putting the tip into his mouth, lowering his mouth onto Niles’ slowly.

 

Niles was panting very loudly, and looked like he was stifling moans. Gavin opened his mouth making an absurd popping noise and looked up at Niles, “I want to hear you, Nines.” He took his hand and removed Niles’ hand from his mouth. “You drive me crazy with your voice, you know that?”

 

Niles nodded in response, staring at Gavin as he once again went down on him.

 

Now, Gavin was good at a lot of things, and giving head? He was the best. His gag reflex did not exist, and he was able to suck off Niles with ease. Between the sloppy wet noises his mouth was making on his friend’s dick, and Niles moaning rather loudly, encouraging him with with soft praises, he realized his dick was trapped under his own pants.

 

Without removing his mouth, he moved his pants down to free his dick, and started touching himself with a free hand.

 

Niles saw this and lost it, “Gav, I’m, ah--I’m going to…”

 

But Gavin didn’t let up, just sucked harder, hollowing out his cheeks. He made it all the way down, his nose touching Niles’ pubic hair.

 

Niles screamed, yelling out as he shot his seed into Gavin’s mouth. Gavin tried his best to swallow, but came off and let him finish the rest on his face. He was stroking himself hard now, edging closer to his own release. Niles, when he regained composure, grabbed Gavin and hoisted him up close to him, so he could lick his own cum off of his face.

 

“Jesus Nines, that’s so fucking hot,” Niles grabbed Gavin’s hand that was on his dick and shoved it away, replacing it with his own. It was already wet with a mixture of Gavin’s precome and Niles’ cum that was dripping down Gavin’s face.

 

Gavin was panting hard now, about to go over the edge. Niles’ deep blue eyes were now open, watching Gavin squirm and moan, as he quickened his pace. “Come for me Gav, I want to see you…”

 

Gavin cried out, almost as loud as Niles had, and collapsed into Niles’ body. He laid on top of him, breathing heavily, his sperm sticking to both of their chests.

 

He realized his pants were still around his ankles, and he kicked them off and rolled over on his side.

 

“Well that...was fucking fantastic.”

 

“We didn’t really get to do much though.” Niles said, worriedly looking at Gavin.

 

“Nines this...still counts as sex, okay? We can get to finding out if you’re a top or bottom later, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Niles got up without a word, and came back a minute later with a warm washcloth, washing Gavin’s body off slowly. Gavin laid back, staring at Niles, not able to stop smiling.

 

“Stop looking at me like that.” Niles said firmly, but turned to look at Gavin again with a smile. He took the washcloth and folded it, using the clean side on himself.

 

“Nope.” Gavin said, leaning up to kiss Niles on the cheek. Niles rolled his eyes, but couldn’t keep from smiling for long.

 

He grabbed the end of the comforter and shimmied inside, patting the bed for Gavin to join him. Gavin snuggled up against him, wrapping his arms around his chest, sighing deeply into his skin.

 

“Goodnight, Gavin,” Niles said, stroking his hair.

 

“I love you.” Gavin replied sleepily, closing his eyes.

 

“I love you too.”

 

\---

 

The two of them slept over twelve hours. Niles only woke up when his phone buzzed on the nightstand, the noise overwhelmingly annoying.

 

It was his boss,  _ their _  boss. Shit.

 

Niles cleared his throat and Gavin shifted beside him, “Hello?”

 

“Where the fuck are you?”

 

“Oh, sorry sir, did you not get my message?”

 

There was a pause on the other end, followed by, “Stern?”

 

Niles replied, “Yes sir.”

 

A sigh on the other end, “No, I did not.”

 

“Gavin and I were out late on the double. I figured we could both use some PT time to sleep in.”

 

Gavin nodded beside him, putting the covers over his head, still holding on to Niles.

 

“Well, fine. I’ll have Anderson cover anything that comes in. Hope you guys were working hard last night.”

 

“Of course, sir. Gavin is a fine officer. He still has much to learn, but nothing I can’t handle.” Gavin blindly threw his hand up and waked Niles’s in the face, almost causing him to drop his phone.

 

“Great, get some rest, I’ll see you Monday.”

 

“Thank you, sir.” Niles hung up the phone and threw it across the room. It landed with a thud on the hardwood floor, and Niles didn’t give a fuck if he broke it or not.

 

“So, what do you want to do today?” Niles asked, worming his way back under the covers to protect himself from the cold air.

 

Gavin let out a chuckle, “I want to stay in bed. All day.”

 

“Hmm...that could be arranged. How about we get up to eat first?”

 

“Can I have pancakes?”

 

Niles smiled, “Yeah, with chocolate chips?”

 

Gavin smiled back, “Aw, you know me so well.”

 

The two took a minute before reluctantly getting up. Gavin stretched, searching for his clothes, and saw his cellphone on the floor…

 

Oh.  _ His  _ cellphone.

 

“Hey, Nines,” Gavin said, grabbing the cell phone and holding it up for him to view.

 

“Is….that…. _ oh _ .”

 

The both of them laughed. That was going to be an awkward conversation on Monday.

 

But for now, pancakes and coffee were calling. They spent the rest of the day talking, catching up, apologizing, and making out, all in that order. No more tears were shed, because they were past that. This felt like picking up a book that had been started and lost, but had been found and picked right back up again. Niles felt like he had to go back and read some of the earlier chapters that he forgot, like how Gavin hated green beans, was allergic to pollen, and loved,  _ loved _  cats. But he was most looking forward to reading the rest of the book, to learn more and grow with someone he had loved for most of his life.

 

They had a lot of lost time to make up, and neither were planning on forgetting about it.


End file.
